Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, loved ones! Once again I have been really lousy with updating this blog but there is so much going on here in Stockholm. Today is the last day of 2011 which I am gonna celebrate with a wonderful dinner with my best friends and then a big ass party in a friends house. I am so excited that I can't sit down so sitting down and writing this entry is a hard thing to do, believe me. Now I just have to still fit in my sequin dress and get my party-mood on, then I'm ready to say goodbye to this years with a glass of pink champagne in my hand.

Ps. I recently started a blog in swedish with my wonderful friend Ellie, if you want to read it you can find it here and you can use google translate to understand what it says!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas lovely ones! Here in Sweden we lack snow but we don't lack the christmas spirit, at least my family doesn't. It's one hour left until all my relatives get here for the traditional christmas meal and for opening presents (I AM SO EXCITED, LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD KID THAT BELIEVES IN SANTA). Have a wonderful day and for my wonderful ones in Scotland/England/Other country I wish you a merry christmas tomorrow since you celebrate on the 25th. Also I have to say that I am sorry for being so lousy with updating this blog but there is so much to do here in Stockholm, I'll try to be better. Love!

Midnight in Stockholm

I'm so incredibly happy right now because I've got the most wonderful boy lying beside me in my bed. Just wanted to tell you. Goodnight.

Goodbye Aberdeen, Hello Stockholm

I was too excited to be back in Stockholm so today I overbooked and did tons of things. I met up with my favorite boys, Philip for brunch and Ludvig (picture) for coffee, then I went back home to be with my family and after that I went into town with my mum and did some shopping. It felt wonderful to walk down Biblioteksgatan again, walk through Stureplan and fall in love with Marc by Marc Jacobs bags at Nordiska Kompaniet. I'm so completely in love with this city that it is crazy, finally I feel the need to grab my camera and take photos but as I am probably the dumbest person in the world I forgot my 450D in Scotland. Oh, and by the way I saw Fredrik Reinfeldt, one of my role models and the prime minister of Sweden, today and could hardly breathe even thought I've seen him before. I've been gone too long from Stockholm...

This is a story of boy meets girl

Tonight I realized how much I love 500 Days of Summer. I love absolutely everything about it from the way it's filmed to how it expresses feelings so wonderfully with showing tiny fragments of memories that other film's rarely care about. Last but not least the soundtrack is so perfectly put together. As you notice I'm in love with every inch of this film and watching it with my dear friend Baylee only made it even more lovely because as I came with my comments she came with her comments and it all were mixed up in a perfect blend. That we drank hot chocolate and ate clementines might be an explanation to this walking-above-the-clouds feeling I have right now. I feel happy, even content, with my life right now. Everything is as I want it to be and that is beautiful.

Feels like Home

Even if I'm four hours by plane from Sweden I can still have a little taste of my native country because of this wonderful drink, Kopparberg swedish pear cider. With every little sip it feels like I'm thrown back a couple of years because this drink may have been the first alcoholic beverage I tasted without my parents knowledge (yes, mom & dad, now you know, I drank cider instead of vodka). As you can see I'm dressed in white and with white make-up. I'm gonna be Snow tonight at a LawSoc Christmas Pub Crawl. Promise to post photos of the craziness that me and Eilidh's gonna create for our crazy night.

You are my Only One

Sometimes it hits me how much I miss you, like a piece is missing, because how could I possibly be whole when you are on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, how can anyone believe that I am whole without you? It is insane how a person can be so much a part of you that you don't know where you end and where he begin, to be so close that you know everything about each other. To love someone so much that you get paranoid that something will happen and everything will fall apart. I can't wait until I get to see your face again, kiss your lips and have your arm around my waist. Whisper words in your ear that is only for you. I can't wait to hear you tell me that I am your only one.

A shout out to my Blair

Hi Blair, I know I have been lousy when it comes to skype-sessions and updates about life but as you probably know I still have that soft spot for you and the need to tell you everything that happens in my mind. I just read the little book you gave me when I turned 19, the book of our love and how we met and what you hoped for our future. I read "Skype-calls at least once a week" and tears welled up in my eyes, and at that exact moment I figured out how much I miss you, it was like someone stabbed my heart actually and turned the knife around. 

Do you remember when we danced in the clubs of Stureplan, when I wanted to be a Blair-bitch and somehow crush the guy that was such a dick to you? I remember everything, every little bit of it all. It's like when I close my eyes I see everything clearly, I see us and I see how much fun we had. Remember New Years Eve on the floor in the bathroom? We talked for hours that night. We were so close, you were somewhere at that place where my heart is, and you still are. This is my declaration of love to you, if you haven't figured that out yet.

You are brilliant, your smile is radiant, you have the kindest of hearts and you are never afraid to speak your mind. You know when to put down your foot and you know when to grab my hand and say "Let's go talk" because you know that something is not right. You are terrific. Never forget that.

I miss your laughter, your wise words when my head&heart turns inside out and nothing works, I miss holding your hand and finding our way around the dance floor and dancing until our feet hurts because of our high heels, I miss pretty much everything and I can't believe that I've been able to turn off my feelings as I have been doing since I got here because I have been so afraid of missing people but hey, here I am at 01:02 in the middle of the night and it hurts, Blair, it hurts like hell because I miss you and I miss us. I pray to God that you want to move to Aberdeen next year and I know that you will get in. I love you and I want to spend as much time as possible with you when I come home again.

Love,

Serena

Stockholm is my lover

pictures taken in Stockholm, Sweden, during different years and different seasons.

15 days left until I go back to Stockholm, Sweden, and I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy or sad because at the same time as I wanna go home and meet everyone that have a special place behind my ribcage I want to stay here in Aberdeen with all the beautiful smiles I've met here.

I can't imagine how it's gonna be back in Stockholm, if it will feel like all the missing pieces falls back to place, like finding those pieces of the endless puzzle that you've been searching for for days or even months. I can't wait until I get to walk down Biblioteksgatan and go to NK and eat a cinnamon roll with my mother, dance until my feet aches from too high heels at one of the clubs near Stureplan and run down a street with the ones I love the most and scream of joy and happiness.

Sometimes I miss Stockholm so much it hurts. The small vintage stores with ancient Chanel-bags at Östermalm or the guys with the back-combed hair at Sturegallerian that walks around like they own the world thought they probably are pretty alone. I miss walking down Surbrunnsgatan and knowing that I will see Edward in 5 minutes because he lives so close and I miss to take the subway to Danderyd and lie on a bed, in a room that looks so girly and edgy that there are no words, and talking to the girl that knows every little piece of me.

But at the same time as I miss Stockholm I never wanna leave these grey houses and the people that greets you with a smile or maybe a drink in hand. I find that I actually like it here, not the same way as I am hopelessly in love with Stockholm, but as in the way of a dear friend. Aberdeen is my friend while Stockholm is my lover and I would actually like to keep it that way.

This is not a Vacation, this is my Home

I have been thinking about the fact that I've actually moved away from home, Aberdeen is my home now, but I can't really understand it. I still see Stockholm as my home and even thought the grey buildings and the churches and the old university buildings I can't really understand that I live here. This is my home now. This will be my home for four years, these grey old buildings will stick with me for four years and the windy weather with the blue skies will be a part of me for three and a half more years. I can't believe it, can't believe that I will be a part of this for years to come and that this is my home because actually it feels like I'm on vacation. A vacation filled with parties, new wonderful people and loads of law studies because it doesn't seem real that me, Felicia, have moved away from home to another country, a country that lies 3hours by airplane from my home country. It's crazy. I live in Aberdeen, Scotland, and it feels like a wonderful vacation, a vacation for 4 years.

Lips up-close

Atonement, hot coca and caramel waffles. Think this is one of the best sundays ever.

Caramel waffles and Black shorts

After lying in my bed for more than 24 hours, since I woke up at 12:30 today, I decided that I can't mope around in my room anymore. So I texted my friend Olivia and it was decided that we were gonna head into town. At first the plan was to only go to Starbucks, drink a cup of hot cocoa and then sit there for an hour or two but oh no that did not happen because as soon as I went into town I just had to buy a Starbucks mug (the one in the photo) and my favorite caramel waffles (hello, they had them as mini ones in a cute little bag).

Then I just couldn't go home before visiting Topshop, H&M, Boots and a bunch of other stores which made me come home with a new lipstick (a plum one actually, really cool), a pair of black super duper cool shorts (H&M) and a big, pinkmixedwithcream sweater (H&M). Now I feel a bit more like myself and I can listen to songs like One and Only without crying until there's no tears left. I can actually smile now and mean it. I only needed my 24 hours in solitude to recover and get used to being by myself again after a week in absolute bliss with Edward (aka: boy with beautiful blue eyes) and now I also got new clothes that I can rock tomorrow.

Counting down the Days

It is seven hours since we said goodbye at that bus-stop. Seven hours since you had your arms around me and held me inside your coat so I wouldn't be cold. Seven long hours that I've spent going around town and finally lying in my bed and trying to watch tv-shows but nothing works. Time moves too slow and all I can think of is when we meet each other in 21 days on Arlanda Airport in Sweden. I want the time to move faster so I can finally be in your arms again, feel your lips press against mine and have your hands all over me but there is 21 days left and until then I will bury myself in work and law cases.

Tenth blog and still counting, or am I finally content?

This might be my tenth blog since I have a severe problem with feeling comfortable with a blog address for too long but I think this is it because for the first time I feel content with the name, the layout and the blog platform. So as I said, maybe this is it. As you can see this blog is under construction and not the least bit done but since my fingers have been itching to write I just couldn't stop myself from clicking the "New post" button. So...

Hi, I'm Felicia. I'm from Stockholm, Sweden, but the 14th September 2011 I moved to Aberdeen, Scotland, to study LLB Law (Hons) at University of Aberdeen. I absolutely love it here, from the crazy student parties to the grey houses and the small book boutiques (which reminds me of that I'm gonna go buy that copy of Wuthering Heights from 1895, or was it 1875?, later) but as I am a restless soul I can't wait until I graduate and finally move to New York City, USA, hopefully I'll move there with my boyfriend that already lives in the US now, he's studying at college. This is my blog, my thoughts and my life and there will be millions of posts about how much I miss my boyfriend since this thing with long distance is kind of new to me but it's definitely worth it, I would never throw away 2 years of absolute bliss just because we moved to different countries to follow our dreams. Okay, now I got off track, anyway, this is me and this is my blog. Welcome.